Glitz, glamour, makeup, costumes, music, dancing and stage lights. No, it's not breakfast at Lady Gaga's house, it's the first sure-thing hit of the holiday season and it stars Cher and Christina Aguilera. The November 24th release of Burlesque brings the two legends together in what is sure to outsell Moulin Rouge. The story follows Christina as Ali, an Iowa girl with a dream, working as a waitress while longing for her shot at showbiz. Wait a minute, wasn't this a Judy Garland movie?  Cher plays Tess, her bossy boss, a former dancer and owner of the nightclub where the film is set. Though the title implies nostalgia, Burlesque is actually set in modern times, but uses the classic small town girl makes it in Hollywood storyline. The ensemble features Kristen Bell (Gossip Girl,) Cam Gigadent (Twilight,) Alan Cumming (X-Men 2,) and Stanley Tucci (The Devil Wears Prada.) The project comes from out director Steven Antin, brother of Pussycat Dolls creator Robin Antin, former reality series, Blow Out star Jonathan Antin and the ex boyfriend of David Geffen. Wait a minute…does this mean if I hadn't turned down David Geffen on Grindr I could have met Cher? Oh crap!

Fans of The L Word, the original one, should tune in to the Hallmark channel on Nov. 20 to catch Jennifer Beals in The Night Before The Night Before Christmas. Beals joins Canadian actor Rick Roberts (Love & Human Remains) as a couple with busy jobs and two kids whose lives change forever when Santa crash lands on their roof. That's when the family joins in a chorus of the holiday favorite 'Shingle Bells.'  Kidding.  Because Santa doesn't have an air bag in the sleigh, he gets amnesia and the family dives in to help Saint Nick remember his duties. Topping that list is obviously a shit load of coal for Sarah Palin's house. 

Jake Gyllenhaal goes from a sword wielding Persian in his last film to a staff healing salesman in Love and Other Drugs, opening November 25th. Jake plays a Viagra sales rep who falls hard for Anne Hathaway only her interest in him is a little limp. Edward Zwick wrote and directed a cast that includes Judy Greer (Arrested Development,) Hank Azaria (The Birdcage,) plus 70s box office legends George Segal and Jill Clayburgh.   Keep an eye out for the poster as it feature Jake sitting on a bed naked with a pillow over his crotch. Hey, that was on my Christmas list from last year. See, I guess Santa really did lose his memory. 

The second season of the CW's version of the DC comic book, Human Target, starring Mark Valley (Boston Legal) returns November 14th. Torchwood vet, Indira Varma (Suzie) joins the cast as character Christopher Chance's new benefactor in his Body-Guard-for-hire business. Last season's regulars Chi McBride (Pushing Daisies) and Jackie Earle Haley (Watchmen) return. 

Lance Bass will host the American Music Awards airing on ABC November 21st. Among those nominated and perhaps making an appearance on the program are Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, Shakira,  and Black Eyed Peas. Catching the coattails of Dancing with the Stars success, ABC is debuting another reality show of rhythm on November22nd, the evening following the American Music Awards. It's called Skating with the Stars and will feature celebrities on ice. I don't mean meth, they'll be sliding around on frozen H20. If it's a hit, don't be surprised if the alphabet network rushes production on a spin-off series called 'Celebrity on Thin Ice' with Jesse James and David Arquette.  *** 

Some of you just might be 'Swept Away' with the news that Madonna is directing a double romantic film titled W.E. The project features two different love stories consisting of the affair between King Edward VIII and Wallis Simpson as well as a Russian security guard and a married woman.  James D'arcy (Wilde) plays the abdicated king costarring with Abbie Cornish (Elizabeth: The Golden Age,) James Fox (Sherlock Holmes,) Richard Coyle (Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time,)  Natalie Dormer (Anne Boleyn in The Tudors,)  and Natalie's fellow Tudors cast member Annabelle Wallis, who played Jane Seymour. Adding just a touch of nepotism, Madonna has her daughter Lourdes making an appearance in the film. Now we know why Madonna taught her daughter the anti-mono brow art of tweezing.

Fran Dresher returns to television with a syndicated daytime talk show of her own staring November 26th. Is it really a smart decision to debut a new show so close to Turkey day? The former star of The Nanny is a cancer survivor, and author of the 2002 book Cancer Schmancer. The series will air through a 3-week trial period and if it's received well, could return after the holidays in January.

Who knew that she can sing? Out comedian Wanda Sykes takes on the role of Miss Hannigan in the Media Theatre for the Performing Arts (Media, PA) production of Annie running November 23rd to December 12th and January 12th – 16th.  Media is about 30 miles West of the Philly, so if you're in the city of Brotherly love (no, not the capital of West Virginia) during Thanksgiving, run out to Media and catch one of our modern GLBT heroes on stage. *** Katy Perry fans can catch the singer on the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show airing on CBS November 30th.   Don't forget to mark your calendars for the January release of Perry's new line of nail polish from OPI. Among the shades are Teenage Dream (glitter pink,) Not Like the Movies (silver,) Last Friday Night (shimmering bright blue,) and The One That Go Away (dark purple.) I guess her handlers vetoed the one called, Sesame Street Walker. 

James Franco (Howl) has purchased the rights to The Adderall Diaries by Stephen Elliott and plans to direct and star in the feature. The story looks at a blocked author who finds his creativity sparked by a murder trial. If you caught the irony that it sounds a lot like Capote's In Cold Blood here's another twist. The film costars Toby Jones who played Capote in the film Infamous, which focuses on the author's obsession with a murder case. Franco will be directing Natalie Portman (V For Vendetta,) Zooey Deschanel (500 Days of Summer,) and Justin Theroux (American Psycho.)   Franco recently finished the prequel to Planet of the Apes, titled Rise of the Apes, which uses genetic engineering to explain how the apes evolved from being Republicans to having a human level intelligence. 

Speaking of Toby Jones, he's back to provide the voice for Doby the Elf in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part I opening on November 19th. The whole cast of regulars are there in addition to John Hurt (An Englishman in New York) as Mr. Ollivander, Jamie Campbell Bower (Rocknrolla) as Gellert Grindlewald  and David Thewlis (Total Eclipse) as Remus Lupin. All brought together in a screenplay by Steve Kloves who also wrote Wonder Boys, the movie that had Robert Downey Jr. hooking up with Tobey McGuire. Yes, that's right folks, Iron Man and Spider-man had sex together.  Aren't you sorry you stopped reading comic books?

Until next time, I'm Nathaniel Grey and I was born this way. 
 

Previous Entertainment Features:
Eye On Entertainment - November 1, 2010
Eye On Entertainment - October 15, 2010
Eye On Entertainment - October 1, 2010
Eye On Entertainment - September 15, 2010
Eye on Entertainment - September 1, 2010
Eye on Entertainment - August 2010
Eye on Entertainment - July 2010
Eye on Entertainment - June 2010
AP Tour 2010 Rocks The Sunset Strip
L.A. Radio Trio Gets West Hollywood Welcome