A recent article in Frontiers Magazine listed some new “gay” cars on the market, and it seemed to stereotype gays as being guppies (gay urban professionals). While there certainly isn’t anything wrong with being a guppy, the question is does it typify the Weho crowd? This reporter doesn’t think so. I would like to suggest that the crowd in Weho is as diverse at the gay flag colors, and if I were a directing a film with diverse gay characters, this is what I think they would drive.

The Diva: Bentley Continental GTC, an unabashed luxomobile that would make Norma Desmond proud. But in today’s world, maybe it would be driven by Simon Cowell or Ryan Seacrest. Why?  Just look at it…its elegant, stunningly beautiful, huge (for a convertible), and exclusive.  Only a few hundred a made per year--a rare treat for the most discriminating taste. Its priced north of $205,600, but you know that when the movie premiers this car will be on the red carpet.
 

Chevy Camaro Convertible

Cadillac Escalade ESV

Volkswagen CC

The Rentboy:  Chevy Camaro Convertible, the car says “look at me” from every angle. What I like about it is that it’s a civil car you can actually drive to work, day or night.   It has strong masculine features, and a classy retro interior. Thomas Jane, where are you?  And, with base Camaro models starting at $23,200 for 323hp of American muscle, how can you go wrong?

The DL Gansta: Cadillac Escalade ESV, the perfect ride when a limo isn’t available. It can fit your gang and probably even a stipper pole, but we all know what kind of pole you strip for. Your homies will love it, and your bling factor will be solid. Can you see Lil Wayne driving one? MSRP starts at $65,700, and it’s on a different sphere than your papa’s old Caddy. 

The Sugar Daddy: VW CC, who says a daddy has to be rich?  Can’t he just be a generous FWB? The thing about this car is that it’s a Mercedes CLS for the budget conscious older guy that want to still look good and appeal to the young and hip…thus it’s the perfect daddy car. Wouldn’t you jump into this car with daddy, too? I wonder if Elton or Juan Gabriel have one? Hum …. look at it this way, at only $28,415 for the turbo 4cyl base model, daddy will have more money he can spend on you.
 

Porsche Cayenne

Jeep Wrangler

The Lipstick Lesbian: Porsche Cayenne, a beautiful body with a hard-as-nails attitude. This car has trophy wife written all over it. Its one part Cindy Crawford, and one part Joan Crawford.  Lets us not forget it’s a premium SUV, which means the pricing starts at $48,200 and goes all the way to $107,100, and it will get you there plenty fast, but in the top-of-the-line Turbo model it will get you there even faster. 

The Butch Dyke: Jeep Wrangler, restyled and refined for 2012, with a powerful new V6 engine that breathes life to this iconic trailblazer. Heck, even I would go after girls if I drove this car. Chaz Bono, eat your heart out.  And, with an MSRP starting out at $22,045, make sure to put this baby on your short list. 

The Hot Tamale: Ford Fiesta, cute as a button, international flavor, practical and affordable.  It may not be the fastest car on the lot, but it sure does turn heads.  Mario Lopez should be it's spokesperson. I can hear him now with his cheeky grin saying, “Starting at only $15,500, you can have one of the zippiest cars around.”  Somehow zippy and zippers reminds me of Mario.
 

Ford Fiesta

Mercedes C-Class Coupe

Dodge Charger SRT8

The Ricecake:  The tried and true Mercedes C-Class Coupe is both small and sexy, yet safe and economical with their new turbo 4cylinder engine. It still has the panache to get the valet’s attention without breaking the bank. This is the Green Hornet’s Kato’s guilty pleasure. And at a starting price of only $37,220 for this very well equipped status symbol, how can you resist?

The Bi Boy:  A Dodge Charger SRT8—even the abbreviation practically says it wants to be straight—is a brawny brute with a long front and a perfect rear. You can haul the kids to school and meet your DL friend for a nooner. Just in case, the back seat is huge. Tom Hardy, what team are you playing for today? This top-of-the-line model starts out at $43,780 with the right ‘tude that only a few cars can deliver. Everyone will want a piece of you, and that’s why it’s the perfect Bi Boy car.

The L.A. Auto Show runs from November 18-27, 2011 (including Thanksgiving Weekend). The ratio of boys to girls at the auto show is like 60 to 1. Enjoy the show.

On the web: http://www.LAAutoShow.com